of Sorrow and revenge
by LoversLove
Summary: Rick is in jail after the shooting, and he get's a letter. A letter that makes him both regret what he has done, and want to finish it. Please review thank you
1. Chapter 1

_You're a monster!_

I am not a monster. I am not a monster. They were the monsters, dropping that paint on me. They drove me to it. It isn't my fault. They made me. I am not a monster.

_You tried to kill two innocent students!_

Neither of them was innocent. I didn't mean to almost kill Sean, but Emma and Jimmy, they had it coming. They stabbed me in the back, they hurt me. They made me bring the gun. They made me do it, they practically handed me the gun. How dare anyone say otherwise!

_You deserve to be here!_

I don't. I don't want to be here, I don't need to be here. I don't need to be in this hospital bed, inside this prison. I deserve to be with people, people who understand that doing things like bullying and dumping paint on someone is unforgivable. I deserve to be with people who don't need to be punished, I deserve to be with people who I don't have to punish.

_How could you do this to me? _

It wasn't hard, and no one seemed to care. Raditch never cared, about me, or any of his students. I had to make someone see, teach everyone a lesson, or they wouldn't stop. I didn't deserve to be tormented daily, I really didn't. Raditch, Emma, Jay, Spinner and Jimmy, they drove me to it.

Now I sit in this dark prison cell, waiting for the day I can go on parole, waiting for the day I can leave this hell. I wake up everyday, and walk down the corridors, and they mock me. They know what I have done, but none of them are scared. None of them think that I will hurt them. And their right. They abuse me. When were outside they punch me, hit me. I don't defend myself, because I know, that will only get me in more trouble.

In the line for food, I get tripped, my tray gets knocked down, and I end up sitting in the back of the lunch hall, just waiting. Waiting for the day I can leave this place. This place, this place is too much like high school. Everyone mocking me, judging me based on my past.

I am not the same person. I am not the same person who tried to kill those three people, though I don't regret that. I have changed, and I have learned to control myself. I will not hit someone who hits me, but I will not condone being hit. I will suffer silently.

"Hey. You have a letter."

I look up from my diary, glaring at the man holding a letter threw the bars. Some how I don't believe that this letter is for me, they never are. They are usually just a pile a dog crap, or something of the sort. Nothing that I can say I want to keep. But I take the letter from his hand, knowing I have no other choice. Besides, no one could fit a piece of dog crap in this tiny envelope.

I open it, seeing a small piece of pink paper with the sweet scent of honey on it. Emma's scent. I look at the card quickly, before pulling it out and reading it.

"_Dear Richard,_

_As much as I didn't want to do this, I had to. You have to know the truth. You crippled Jimmy. He can't walk, he can't run, and he can't play basketball. Basketball was his passion, he was really good, and you took that away from him. He was nice to you, he defended you. He even got into a fight with Spinner about you. And you crippled him. Spinner told me what he and Jay told you… He lied to you. Jimmy wasn't the one to pour the paint on you…Spinner and Jay did. You crippled Jimmy for nothing, and you ruined my life because I didn't love you. I shouldn't have been so rude, I know, but you can't just kiss people. I didn't like you like that, and now, now you have messed everyone's life up. I hope you're proud of yourself. _

_Signed Emma Nelson._

_P.S. I only did this because my therapist told me too."_

Tears filled my for the first time since I came here. I was wrong. I had messed up. I had just ruined the life of an innocent boy, a boy who had defended me in my hardest moment. I curled up on my bed, and cried, feeling worthless. I was a monster, but I could change. I finished sobbing and moved my rough hand under my pillow, finding the picture of me, Emma, Toby, and Jimmy before the competition.

I was going to make this better. I needed to make this better with Jimmy. I ran my hand over Emma's small, smiling face, and growled. I would make things right with Jimmy, and do what I should have done with Emma, the moment I get out of this hell.


	2. Chapter 2

_Rick!_

_Come on Rick!_

_Rick, hurry up!_

_The sweet melodious voice of Emma Nelson sweeps over the garden as she dances around the pond. She is wearing a beautiful white dress, her tanned skin glowing under it. She twirls through the lush grass, letting her arms swing her large picnic basket. She is humming sweetly as I approach the beauty, but I know she expects me. She stops dancing and looks at me, smiling. _

"_There you are, Rick! Let's eat!" She spreads out a picnic blanket under us, and sits, arranging the food. Her long hair flows over her shoulders, framing her beautiful face. My heart jumps as she looks back up at me. "Help me, silly!" She giggles as I squat awkwardly over the food, moving the cake to the side. After all the food is out, she watches me eat some, then takes a bite of the cake, smile never leaving her face. _

"_Emma, I have something to ask you." My voice disrupts the beautiful place, and I could swear I saw some flowers die as I spoke, but I continued after she nodded her head. "Have you always loved me?" My question seemed out of place, and I watched the setting change. Emma's beautiful white dress changed, and she stood, revealing a long black dress. She cackled evilly, and the pond and everything burst into flames._

_She kept laughing, her head thrown back, until she finally looked me in the eyes, speaking bitterly. "Richard Murray, I have never, nor will I ever love you! I just PITIED you! Get a clue!" Her words were sharp, and stabbed me straight in the heart. I felt my skin burn, from the fire and the embarrassment. I turned and ran, only to find myself trapped in a room. _

_I saw a picture of me and Emma. She was in my arms, smiling happily, it was a beautiful picture. We were in love. I watched in horror as the man in the picture changed into Sean Cameron. My eyes tears up and I turned away from the picture, finding another one of her and Toby hugging at Jimmy's vigil. My blood ran cold; my best friend had betrayed me! I ran to the blank wall on my left, pressing my warm face against the cool texture. It was almost calming before I saw it light up with another picture. Emma and Spinner locked in a kiss. I backed away, horrified at the image of the love of my life with my nemesis. I fell on my knees, and turned to the next wall, seeing a picture of her and all these men, together smiling happily. _

_I felt weak, angry, terrified. Emma wouldn't do this, I thought. She loved me. She loves me. I sat as the walls fell to the ground, revealing a happy Emma and a happy Sean, holding a child. She turned to me, and smiled. "Would you like to meet our child?" Her words sounded sweet, but I felt like I was poisoned. She had a child, with Sean Cameron. My eyes filled with tears, and I screamed, running over to the happy family. _

_Sean's arm was over Emma's shoulder and both were staring lovingly down at the baby. I tore the child from their arms, only to feel paper under my finder tips. I looked up and saw that the happy family before me had turned into a picture. I quickly tore it down, finding solace in their demise, but the same photo kept coming back up, in front of me. My eyes watered and I screamed, shutting them tightly so that I couldn't see the images._

"_Rick." A strong, male voice called out to me. I recognized it immediately. Jimmy, my friend, my new friend. I opened my eyes and stared at him. He sat, looking at me in the eyes as I kneel in from of him. He was in a wheelchair. _

"_Rick, look where you put me…After I defended you." His eyes never left mine, even when I looked away. I felt a cool sweat on my forehead, and my glasses stared to fog up. I looked down at my knees, and apologized. Suddenly, Jimmy stood up, tall and proud, and leered over me. _

"_I'm sorry, doesn't cut it. You put me in that wheelchair. You almost killed my two friends. I'm sorry, isn't working."_

_I stood up, trying to make eye contact, trying to gain some importance in this talk, but he grew taller then me, and kept looking down. I backed away, glaring at my one time friend. My steps became faster and faster till I was running away from him, afraid he would catch up in one step. But he didn't even try to. _

_Terri McGregor appeared in front of me, a sick smile on her face. I stopped running as soon as she appeared, hoping not to crash into her. She kept smiling, looking right at me. "No body loves you, Rick."_

_She sang the words over and over; my head was filled with her song. I couldn't breathe, my lips felt as if they had been sewn shut. Emma appeared next to the girl, and sang with her, both sounding happy. Spinner and Jimmy appeared on the sides of both of the girls, and the song grew louder and louder. With each resounding verse, two more people joined, till the whole school was in front of him, singing._

_This is not happening, this is not happening! My mind went crazy, I trashed about, as they continued to sing. And in one burst of air, I let out all my emotions in one short scream, covering their hurtful song._

I burst out of my cot, covered in a cold sweat. I hear other inmates yell at me, telling me to shut up, and that if I don't stop, they will actually give me something to scream about. It doesn't frighten me; nothing could be worse then those dreams. They are always filled with terrible images of the things that I have done to Jimmy, or the things that Emma had done to me. Thoughts of the blonde girl haunt me daily; I find it hard to do anything without being reminded of my time with her.

I try time and time again to forget about her harsh rejection, but I can't, no matter what I do. She should be with me, holding my hand, talking to me every time she can. But she isn't. She is off, doing god knows what with God knows who, and I can't stand it. The moment I get out of this place, she will be mine again, like she should have always been.

Rick wrung his course hands, plotting how to get out, and how to get Emma. His smile turned evil and bitter, and he quickly dashed across his cell to the small table he had setup, on top of which a pen and paper lay. He picked both up, and wrote furiously. For the next three hours, all he did was write. He wrote everything in his head, and everything he needed to do.

Finally, he set the paper down, and laid back down in his bed, he was going to get his revenge. His beady eyes shut slowly, and he finally slept well, finding a bit of peace in his sinister plotting.


End file.
